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A BRITISHER’S VIEW - Crazy Muslim cleric spews network ‘fatwa’

When push comes to shove, the Saudis sure know which side their pita is buttered on.

When the chief of the highest tribunal in the kingdom threatened to reward managers of “immoral” western-style satellite programming with death, it didn’t take long for both hard-liners and so-called moderates to open their mouths in protest.

The chilling warning has sent shivers down the spines of usually spineless Saudi men, who seem fraught over the gloomy prospect of having the last bit of excitement removed from their lives by another spoil-sport. Dash it, who will the Saudi princes and the well-heeled Saudi and Persian Gulf businessmen – who own most of the popular Arab satellite stations – ogle at in private, now?

“I want to advise the owners of these channels, who broadcast calls for such indecency and impudence – and I warn them of the consequences,” said Judiciary Council Chief Sheik Saleh al-Lihedan, adding ominously, “Those calling for corrupt beliefs, certainly it’s permissible to kill them.”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

It would be mighty funny if it the call was being issued by a quack instead of one of Saudi Arabia’s top judicial authorities with the power to wield and inflict a religiously-baseless brand of misery upon her subjects.

Add to that the notion, publicly declared on the same week by fellow crazy cleric Sheikh Mohammed Munajjid, that Mickey Mouse is a “soldier of Satan,” because Islam deems rodents as being “repulsive,” and the death edict becomes one more indicator – on a list as long as the Bosphorus River – of the shaky fundamental Muslim mind, and the evil that lurks in its discriminative heart.

Absolutely, al-Lihedan’s fatwa cannot sit well with the Saudis, whose piety casts a thin veil over their sexual frustrations, and whose only outlet for pleasure appears to be “immoral” western-style programming.

Those of us familiar with the mentality of Muslims know only too well that the root of their problem with the west is the Free World’s precociousness, and its wholesome mandate for people to live and let live, and to partake in as much seduction, obscenity and vulgarity as their free hearts desire. Toss in a generous dose of jealousy, too, for while the western world expands in its thinking, its Muslim counterpart is doing just the opposite.

Islam’s society is immature, ill-equipped and too encumbered to handle the human birthright of sexuality. Its women appear in society, clad from head to toe in burkhas, like an army of Darth Vaders, to prevent their men from being sexually aroused. Its women are not permitted to engage in unisex prayers at mosques – or attend a funeral procession to the gravesite – for fear of stirring sexual thoughts in the men around them.

Aside from giving Muslim women far too much credit on the aesthetic front, the apartheid code of conduct reflects the impotency of a male-dominated society unable to deal with much of anything beyond instilling fear in its people and making good on its violent rhetoric.

When senior government figures realized that the Sunni al-Lihedan – remember, Sunnis are supposed to be more moderate than the stricter Shiites – was a killjoy who could inspire vigilante killings, they demanded that the curmudgeonly cleric reform his comments, which he amended to explain that the network owners should first be brought to trial, and then sentenced to death if other penalties failed.

That’s not much better at all, but then what type of social improvements can one expect, or hope, from a society which flogs and executes its people in public, cuts off parts of their anatomy as punishment and imprisons them for saying “boo?”

The hypocrisy of the ultra-Orthodox Saudis is especially noteworthy for Muslims because they are supposed to be the yardstick of virtue and honor to which other believers aspire. Make no mistake, if all Muslims were as moral as they would have us believe, then “immoral” western-style programming would not enjoy the immense appeal it so clearly does in the Islamic world. The duplicity is apparent because Muslims are so ingrained in the militaristic aspects of their holy book that they have become blind – even immune – to civil liberties.

Their yen for “immoral” western-style conduct was exposed with much irony when two of the 9/11 hijackers perfected their demonic plot in the bar of the Helmsley Hotel in Manhattan, paying for their alcoholic drinks with cash and credit cards and, reportedly, leaving behind a copy of the Koran in their preoccupied, drunken stupor.

It is clear that paranoia infiltrates every nook and cranny of the Muslim belief system. However the haughty Saudis view western freedoms in public, privately, they are hard-pressed to stop their voyeurism. It is a disgrace that they have not weeded out, denounced and brought to justice the immoral terrorists in their midst with the same unilateral gumption as they have exhibited over the confiscation of their beloved titillating programming.

Wayward behaviors, and their intrigue, scandal and distortions, are the hallmarks of mankind. Nowhere is their perversion currently thriving, unchecked, than in Muslim world where religion has become a sorry substitute for sex, and where personal gratification remains unfulfilled until the believer is brainwashed into committing holy war, and only then permitted to enjoy the ‘forbidden fruit’ by raping a virgin in heaven.

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