Today’s news:

77-year-old tries to write off fortune in sex

Doing your taxes is rarely an arousing activity.

However, it can become quite amusing when you attempt to deduct thousands of dollars for liaisons with prostitutes, erotic masseurs and the high cost of nipple clamps from your yearly state taxes.

But a word to the wise: As amusing as it is, it’s the tax man who’s the only one laughing his way to the bank.

Such is the cautionary tale of 77-year-old Bay Ridge resident William Halby, a tax lawyer who tried to deduct $300,000 in prostitutes, porn, sex toys and erotic massages in his 2002 and 2003 state taxes, according to the New York Post.

Halby claimed that these dirty deductions were legitimate medical expenses that helped him “relieve osteoarthritis and enhance erectile function through frequent orgasm,” court papers revealed.

He also alleged that his frisky “friends for a fee” also helped him overcome depression.

We’re sure they did, at least in the short term.

New York’s State Department of Taxation and Finance looked over his deductions, and said no way, demanding that Halby fork over $24,000 in state taxes.

Halby protested, stood, er, firm by his deductions and took his case to court.

The Post noted that his 2002 deductions included over $111,000 for “therapeutic sex” and massages. He also tried to deduct over $2,000 in porn, which he used “to enhance sexual performance in lieu of taking Viagra.”

In, 2003, he tried to deduct an additional $100,000 sex-related deductions, including $162 for “sexual performance aids” such as condoms, lubes and nipple clamps, according to court papers.

Halby claimed that all of these deductions had legitimate medical purposes, and backed up his claims with articles professing the possible health benefits prostitutes and sexual masseuses provide.

But auditors and Administrative Law Judge Brian Friedman, who was ultimately handled Halby’s challenge, sided with the state, adding that these saucy extracurricular activities couldn’t be deducted, since they were “illegal treatments.”

The expenses could also not be backed up with receipts, an auditor said.

“It must be noted that portions of [Halby’s] ‘sex therapy’ were, in fact, sex for a fee, in violation of penal law,” Judge Friedman wrote in his findings.

Halby, who is also facing a similar legal challenge with federal tax auditors, said that he plans to appeal the state’s decision.

“I was depressed,” Halby, who is divorced and acts as “counsel” for a Westchester law firm told the Post. “I live a solitary life. I have no social life. I needed that release.”

Calls to the State Department of Taxation and Finance for comment on Halby’s case was not returned as this paper went to press.

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