Today’s news:

Not for Nuthin’

Jon and Kate Gosselin created more than a reality show — they created a nightmare, especially for their children.

Last week saw the much anticipated premiere of Season Five. The episode was supposed to be about the sextuplets’ fifth birthday party, but instead it was an excuse for Jon and Kate to explain away their alleged indiscretions and to tell everyone basically to butt out — it was, after all, their lives, their business.

The big problem with that is that it’s become our business. When they invited the cameras into their home, they invited our opinions, losing their right to any sort of privacy. They had to know how much of a media circus their lives would become and how invasive it would be. It was no longer “Jon and Kate Plus Eight,” but “Jon and Kate plus Eight Plus 4.6 Million Viewers.” Nothing boosts ratings like scandal, and nothing stirs scandal like indiscretions. As they both tried to close the barn doors, it was interesting to note that Jon worried about what his children would think years from now when they were old enough to Google their father’s name. He was concerned they would only find a litany of sins popping up. But Kate’s dilemma, on the other hand, was planning a birthday party alone and how she felt when one of her brood confused her with the babysitter — BOO HOO.

Does she not see the forest for the diapers? Where is her common sense here, and just as important, what the heck happened to her hair?

In the beginning, I have to be honest, it was interesting to see how they managed a set of twins and infant sextuplets; I was exhausted after having only one kid. But as the seasons wore on, it became a little embarrassing. Especially when Kate became obsessed with journaling every poop (yes, poop) of her six little darlings. There is a time and place for cameras, but first poops are not it.

The Gosselins had a chance to set the record straight — tell the cameras thanks but no thanks. They could have ended the misery at season four and worked on salvaging their marriage. Instead, common sense took a back to seat to the lure of the lights and the bang of the buck; they charged full steam ahead into another season. And as if that weren’t enough to bury them, they added salt to an open wound by inviting the producers at E to create a special, “Jon and Kate: Twisted Fate.”

Not for nuthin,’ but what’s next? “Jon and Kate Plus Divorce Court Judge Lynn Toler?”

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