Today’s news:

Swept into cell

A 51-year-old man was incarcerated after he attacked a younger man with a broomstick, police alleged.

That victim, age 50, told police that he was arguing with Robert Serra on Columbia Street near Kane Street at 11:39 a.m. on September 13 when the suspect allegedly lunged at him with the blunt end of the broomstick, leaving him with injuries to the back of his hand, his left arm and lower back.

Responding officers arrested Serra at the scene, charging him with assault.

A thief wormed his way into a Columbia Street home after removing an air conditioner sticking out of a window, police said.

Yet despite all the hard work, the thief entering the home near Kane Street ended up swiping a flashlight and $3 in change, police said.

The 73-year-old victim said the break-in took place sometime between 10:30 a.m. and 10 p.m. on September 14.

Cops are looking for a rather odd burglar who removed an assortment of credit cards and personal information from a Baltic Street apartment along with %u2013 of all things %u2013 one chair.

The thief entered the home between Bond and Hoyt Streets sometime after 8 a.m. on September 11 and took the items from the victim’s bed and bureau.

He must have been so tired from ransacking the place that he grabbed the chair so he could have something to sit on during his escape.

But the apartment tenant apparently made it easy for the thief.

He reportedly admitted to police last week that he had left his apartment door closed, but not locked, when the break-in took place.

A flat-screen television and an antique camera were among the items removed from a Congress Street home near Clinton Street last week.

The 73-year-old resident told police that someone crept through her kitchen window sometime between 9:30 p.m. on September 15 and 9 a.m. the following morning.

The television was worth $1500, the senior said. The antique camera was priceless, police were told.

Quick-acting police nabbed a 30-year-old allegedly responsible for a cell phone theft at the Smith and 9th Street train station.

A 23-year-old woman was reportedly on a G train rumbling into the station at 9:15 a.m. September 14 when she realized that a man was standing directly behind her.

Before she could react, the man reached into her purse, grabbed her phone and exited the train when it reached the platform, police alleged.

The woman followed the thief to the street, where she flagged down a passing police car.

Cops from the 76th Precinct tracked down and apprehended the suspect on Hamilton Avenue near Court Street after a short search.

The alleged thief, identified as Kevin Walker, was charged with grand larceny.

About 12 hours after the above incident, cops from the 76th Precinct had their second %u2013 albeit younger %u2013 cell phone thief in custody for the day.

Police said that the 15-year-old thief was arrested after grabbing a SideKick cell phone from a 17-year-old on Baltic Street between Bond and Hoyt streets at 10 p.m.

Officials were told that the thief ripped the phone out of his victim’s hands and ran off toward Bond Street.

Responding officers apprehended the teenage theft when he was caught circling back to the scene of the crime, officials said.

Police Officer Joseph King was credited with the arrest.

Cops put the brakes on an alleged car thief found tooling around Red Hook behind the wheel of a stolen van.

Officials said that Nolton Gilmore, 44, was taken into custody on charges of auto larceny and driving on a suspended license on September 18 after police equipped with a mobile plate reader rolled past the 2008 Chrysler van he was driving past Otsego and Walcott streets at 1:30 a.m.

The plates on Gilmore’s vehicle came back to a van stolen in Queens, officials said.

An unattended bag became a lucrative opportunity for one criminal mind shopping at the Ikea, 1 Beard Street, last week, police said.

A 23-year-old woman told police that she was shopping at the furniture warehouse at 2:40 p.m. on September 17 when she realized that she left her bag in another part of the massive store.

She ran back to the bag, but someone had already helped themselves to her wallet and credit cards, police were told.

A thief with a taste for the latest in automobile technology is being sought for stealing a 2009 Honda Accord from a usually quiet Carroll Gardens block.

Cops from the 76th Precinct were told that the $22,000 car was parked on Second Place near Court Street at 7:30 p.m. on September 16.

When the 38-year-old owner went to retrieve the car at 10 a.m. the next morning, it was gone, officials said.

A frightened woman facing a knife-wielding thief felt that the path of least resistance would be to throw her iPod Touch to the ground.

The victim said that she was walking along Sackett Street near Henry Street at 4:30 a.m. on September 15 when the 6’2” thief approached and asked her for the time.

Almost instinctively, she pulled out her iPod and told him how early it was.

That’s when the thief pulled out his knife, demanding she fork the iPod over.

The woman, however, went one step further: She threw the iPod down on the ground and ran off, police were told.

The thief soon ran off as well, but it is unclear if he scooped the iPod up before doing so.

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