Today’s news:

Low expectations

Low expectations

The man who robbed the Sovereign Bank on Washington Street had a lot in common with Mel Gibson’s character in the movie “Payback” — both had a clear vision of what they wanted.

This thief’s expectations, however, were a lot lower.

Police were told that the man entered the bank near Water Street in DUMBO just before 12:30 p.m. on March 4 and passed a threatening note with a clear-cut demand.

“Give me $400 and nobody gets hurt,” the note read.

Surprised by the demand more than the low ball figure, a teller went to another window and came back with the cash.

The thief grabbed the money and ran just as another teller hit the silent alarm, police said.

Investigators were still looking for police as this paper went to press.

Anyone with information regarding this incident is urged to come forward.

Calls can be made to the 84th Precinct at (718) 875-6811. All calls will be kept confidential.

Oh, Papa!

Buying a pizza at a local Papa John’s became a harrowing experience for a 56-year-old woman, who was robbed of her wallet mid-transaction.

The woman said that she was in the process of paying for her pie at the Livingston Street eatery at 8:05 a.m. on March 1 when an unidentified man reached out and grabbed her wallet, which she had left on the counter.

The thief then ran off with the wallet and the $325 inside, making the Papa John’s pie the most expensive pizza on record.

Victory — for the cops

An eagle-eyed cop busted a would-be burglar when he was seen rooting around a closed State Street eatery last week.

Officials said that the patrolman was passing the Victory Cafe at 336 State Street at 11:30 p.m. on March 5 when he noticed that a window was broken.

When he peered inside, he saw Michael Graves, 46, behind the counter, allegedly looking for something to steal.

Cops took Graves into custody without incident, charging him with burglary.

Remsen raid

A 26-year-old woman told police that someone swiped her bag as she attended a meeting inside her Remsen Street building.

The woman said that she left her bag, which contained an iTouch, cell phone and $60, inside her desk at 2 p.m. on March 3.

When she returned to her office near Court Street a short time later, her bag was gone, she said, adding that her desk was never locked.

Not very healthy

Police are looking for the thief who broke into Premier Health Care, Inc., 44 Court Street, recently, where some cash, two cameras and a set of keys were taken.

Employees said that they closed for business at 5 p.m. on February 26. When they opened at 8:30 a.m. on March 1, they noticed that someone had tampered with the security code pad on the main door.

Help wipe out graffiti

As the ongoing war against graffiti vandalism continues, cops are now offering a $500 reward to anyone with information that can help them arrest neighborhood graffiti vandals.

The hefty reward is part of the city’s ongoing push to rid New York of graffiti; the leading quality of life complaint brought to police.

Anyone with information about graffiti vandalism in their neighborhood is urged to contact either 311 or 911.

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