Today’s news:

Air apparent! It takes more than hot licks to win the air guitar championships

Sure, it takes talent to wail on an axe in front of a blood-thirsty crowd — but it takes some serious finesse to put on a show with nothing but the music at your back and the wind between your fingertips.

Twenty rockin’ New Yorkers will do just that on April 9, when the U.S. Air Guitar Championship regionals hits Brooklyn Bowl in Williamsburg.

Naturally, we’ll be rooting for the freak-nasty Brooklynites — the ones whose wriggling fingers, flickering tongues and wild hair that make Jimi Hendrix look like a lounge act.

“I live the rock-star lifestyle — I was made for this,” said Sara Cross (a.k.a. Professor LongAir), a punk-rock Park Sloper who will shoot for the finals next week. “I’m not exactly a rocker in real life, but as Professor LongAir, I will be shredding.”

Donning a plaid skirt, a black corset and some fierce eye makeup, Cross will face off against other air guitarists in a two-round judging event on stage.

Each performer gets to thrash for 60 seconds to his or her own song (Cross wouldn’t divulge the juicy details, but it’ll definitely be punk), and another minute with a surprise song during the second round. Instrument-less Billy Idol’s will be judged on technical merit, stage presence and “airness” — the (vague) extent to which the performance transcends imitation and becomes art.

Air guitarists will range in styles, too. While Cross bears her grill and gnarls her fingers to simulate some intense string pickin’, metal-head Marquina Iliev (a.k.a. Mateeka Katskilla) of Downtown whips her head back to let her locks fly.

The Brooklyn winners will head to the obvious rock capital of the world, Finland, for the World Air Guitar Championship later this year.

So head to Brooklyn Bowl early next month and root for the Brooklynites — lest the winner be someone like competitor “Shreddy Mercury” from Westchester.

U.S. Air Guitar Championship at Brooklyn Bowl [61 Wythe Ave. between N. 11th and N. 12th streets, (718) 963-3369], April 9 at 9 pm. Tickets are $10.

Pin It
Print this story Permalink

Reader Feedback

Enter your comment below

By submitting this comment, you agree to the following terms:

You agree that you, and not or its affiliates, are fully responsible for the content that you post. You agree not to post any abusive, obscene, vulgar, slanderous, hateful, threatening or sexually-oriented material or any material that may violate applicable law; doing so may lead to the removal of your post and to your being permanently banned from posting to the site. You grant to the royalty-free, irrevocable, perpetual and fully sublicensable license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display such content in whole or in part world-wide and to incorporate it in other works in any form, media or technology now known or later developed.

CNG: Community Newspaper Group