Today’s news:

Area Kids is robbed

76th Precinct

Carroll Gardens

Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Kid and rob

Cops busted a woman who tried to steal clothing from Area Kids on Smith Street on April 13.

According to police, the 44-year-old thief entered the store, which is between Butler and Douglass streets, at around 3:40 pm and grabbed a T-shirt, shorts and a white dress.

The manager confronted the would-be thief, who pushed the worker into a display case and fled. But Officer Patrick Kwan, who was in the area as part of the anti-crime unit, made the arrest — and even caught the perp with some cocaine, to boot.

Allegedly, of course.

1 crime, 5 nabbed

A 32-year-old man was roughed up and frightened by a mob of hooligans, but he ended up losing nothing to the gang on April 15.

The victim told cops that he was on Henry Street near Fourth Place at around 7 pm when five thugs came over and punched him.

“Come on,” said one of the boys, “give me money.”

When the victim said no, the thieves tried to steal his bag, but got frightened and scattered before grabbing it.

Cops later caught up with all five of the thugs.

Unverona’d

A thief pummelled a woman on Verona Street on April 13, throwing her to the ground and stealing big bucks.

Cops said that the 40-year-old woman was near Richards Street at around 9:45 pm when the man approached from behind, shoved her to the ground and grabbed $2,000 from her before fleeing on a bike.

Old rolled

An 83-year-old man was assaulted near his Bond Street home on April 16 by a man half his age, cops said.

The victim told police that he was between Butler and Baltic street at around 6:30 pm when the 45-year-old man shoved him into a wall, cracking open his head.

The senior was taken to Long Island College Hospital, and the thug remains at large.

Workman’s romp

A thief broken into a Second Place home on April 12, helping himself to high-tech toys.

Cops say that the tenant was not home between 6 am and 4 pm, when he returned to the house, which is between Court and Smith streets, to find the rear door broken and a laptop, iPod, Flip videocamera and $100 gone.

Bad news

Thieves broke into a Luquer Street home while its resident was on vacation last week.

The victim told cops that she was in Florida on April 11 when she received a call that would ruin her trip: the woman who was watching her dog called to say that the house, which is between Clinton and Court streets, had been broken into.

When she got home, she discovered that her computer monitor had been swiped.

Re-tooled

A thief stole a Ford van that had been parked on Van Brunt Street on April 15, not only getting the vehicle, but the tools inside it.

The victim told cops that he’d parked the truck near Pioneer Street at around 10 pm, but it was gone the next morning.

Bald and noisy

A thief ran out of a Fourth Place apartment empty-handed after the resident startled him as he plied his pernicious trade on April 14.

Cops said that the tenant in the apartment, which is at Henry Street, was in her bedroom at around 2 pm when she heard a noise in the living room. By the time she got to the other area of the apartment, all she saw was a bald man jumping out of the window in flight.

He didn’t get anything, but he also has not been caught.

— Gersh Kuntzman

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