Today’s news:

Coney carnage! Man riddled with bullets on West 8th Street

Gunman grab

Cops from the 60th Precinct have arrested a 29-year-old man in connection with a bloody April 5 shooting.

Officials alleged that Michael Soto approached his victim on West 8th Street near Surf Avenue just after 4 am as the man chatted on his cellphone.

Soto reportedly asked his victim a question, but he didn’t hear him, police alleged.

By the time the victim pulled the phone away from his ear, Soto had opened fire, striking the man in the neck, hip and privates, police alleged.

The victim was rushed to the hospital, where he was listed in stable condition, although he will be maimed for the rest of his life, prosecutors said.

Soto was taken into custody and charged with attempted murder on April 23.

Held down and robbed

Two thugs mugged a 79-year-old man on West 33rd Street in Coney Island on April 17.

Police said that the perps followed the senior into the lobby of the building between Mermaid and Surf avenues at 1:45 pm.

They then held him down, taking a wallet from his pocket during the ensuing struggle.

Cops were still looking for the two heartless thugs as this paper went to press.

Anyone with information regarding their whereabouts is urged to contact the NYPD CrimeStoppers hotline at (800) 577-TIPS. All calls will be kept confidential.

Inside woman

A bank teller and a second suspect were arrested on April 21 after she conspired to rob the Sheepshead Bay branch she was working for, police alleged.

Cops alleged that Stacy Faulkner, 21, and Darrel Wheeler, 21, together hatched a plan to swipe an undisclosed amount of money from the Valley National branch on Sheepshead Bay Road near Avenue Z.

The plan was pretty simple: Wheeler allegedly walked into the bank at 1:30 pm and made a bee-line to Faulkner’s window.

He then passed her the threatening note and she handed over the money — just as they had planned.

Investigators brought to the scene quickly learned that the two were allegedly working together and charged both of them with robbery.

Lady looter busted

A 45-year-old woman committed two robberies in Brighton Beach on April 23 just minutes apart, police alleged.

The suspect, identified as Denise Jones, reportedly threatened to shoot a man on Cass Place between Brighton 11th and Brighton 12th streets at 10:10 pm if he didn’t hand over his wallet. After taking the wallet, she ordered her victim to walk away from her, police alleged.

Then, an hour and a half later, Jones allegedly jumped a woman on Corbin Place and Brighton Beach Avenue, taking her purse.

Cops arrested her for the two robberies, as well as for some crack they allegedly found on her person.

Attacked by crew

A group of pugilists attacked a young man in Gravesend on April 25.

Cops were told that several men jumped their victim at the corner of West 3rd Street and Kings Highway at 9:35 pm, leaving him with cuts to his head and elbow.

Investigators caught up with one of the alleged assailants, who they identified as 30-year-old Qadeer Khan, on April 26, charging him with assault in the third degree.

Bonnie and Clyde sought

A callous couple mugged a 45-year-old man as he walked through Sheepshead Bay on April 21.

The victim told police that he was nearing the corner of Avenue Y and Batchelder Street at 9:25 pm when a black male and a Hispanic female grabbed him and threw him to the ground.

The duo punched and kicked the victim as they emptied his pockets of $500, leaving the man with some bruises to his face, police said.

Cops were still looking for the couple as this paper went to press.

Cello swipe

A 300-year-old cello was swiped off Florence Avenue in Gerritsen Beach on April 24.

Cops were told that a 50-year-old woman left the pricey instrument on the side of the road between Bevy and Celeste Courts at 3 pm as she parked her car. Four hours later, she realized she never took it inside.

When she raced outside to retrieve the instrument, it was gone, police said.

Break-in

A thief on a bicycle broke into a 2004 BMW parked in Manhattan Beach on April 24 as its owner took in some sun at a nearby park.

Police said that the thief rolled up to the luxury car at 5:05 pm as it sat near the corner of Shore Boulevard and Kensington Street.

He smashed in the window and scooped up two gold chains and an iPod before pedaling off.

Cops were still looking for the thief as this paper went to press.

Television, laptops swiped

A thief broke into a Sheepshead Bay home on April 14, taking two large-screen televisions, two laptop computers and electronics.

The 24-year-old homeowner said he returned to his East 16th Street house near Avenue U at 5 pm to find his front door closed but unlocked.

When he went inside, he found his living room and bedroom ransacked, police were told.

Endoscope swipe

Somewhere out there is a doctor working on a hot endoscope.

Employees at Greater NY Endoscopy on Emmons Avenue between Dooley and East 21st streets said they learned that the $30,000 piece of medical equipment was missing back on March 15, although they didn’t report it to police until April 13.

Workers said that the machine was last seen on October 22.

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