Today’s news:

Of guns, Hannity and … hair

I saw the best response to the recent Supreme Court decision about the right to bear arms on an old bumper sticker. “WHEN GUNS ARE OUTLAWED, ONLY OUTLAWS WILL HAVE GUNS”

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Here are two advantages of computers that we’ve never thought about: 1) We now know that the tic-tac-toe sign has a name — the pound. 2) Men have finally learned to type.

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Peggy West is a Milwaukee County Supervisor whose biggest claim to fame is that, while publicly stating her thoughts about the hotly debated Arizona immigration law, she erroneously stated that Arizona is NOT on the border. A question being pondered now — Is Miss West really that ignorant or was she under the influence of Milwaukee’s finest fermented fluid?

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Whatever happened to Ryanair’s plan to introduce in-flight gambling? If the discount airline ever gets its way we could be landing in Las Vegas already broke.

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This is from an actual conversation:

E: I hate Hannity.

Me: How often do you watch him?

E: Oh, I NEVER watch him.

ME: When did you watch him last?

E: I’ve never ever seen his show.

ME: How about his radio show?

E: I’ve never listened to that either.

ME: So how do you know you hate him?

Duh!

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Who would have thought that the game of poker would be such a big hit on TV? Right now poker chips outsell board games.

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Hard to believe that it’s been 50 years since I walked down the aisle to the March from Aida. Wearing cap and gown I received that piece of sheepskin that I proudly hang on my wall. Last week I attended my class reunion and expected to see the group of guys I ‘hung with.’ Instead I was greeted by a group of overweight, elderly gentlemen. This is not the gang I overdosed on strong coffee and took all-nighters with. Who are they? They are so old.

It was 1960 when I paid that last tuition check to the Brooklyn College of Pharmacy of Long Island University. Sometime later an important matter made it necessary for me to visit the school. I noticed a name change so I asked one of my former professors, Dr. Shirley Kraus, why the Brooklyn College of Pharmacy of Long Island University was now the Arnold and Marie Schwartz College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences. With a marvelous grin she responded, “Gershbein — you donate five million bucks and I’ll see to it that we rename this place the Stanley P. Gershbein College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences.”

At the 50th anniversary party, my roommate whispered one very important observation: “They may be older and a lot heavier but look — everyone present has most of his own hair. Nobody went bald.”

That’s odd. Maybe having permanent hair was one of the natural perks of becoming a pharmacist that they didn’t tell me about. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net happy to have attended the 50th and now looking forward to the next major milestone — the one 100th.

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