Today’s news:

Stealing water from a baby!

Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Bald baddie

A thief stole water bottles from a 13-year-old who was just trying to make a few bucks on a hot day on June 30.

The teenager told cops that he had set up a stand hawking the bottled sustenance on Warren Street between Court and Smith streets. At around 12:40 pm, an older man approached and said, “Shut up — prepare for me to hit you.”

The teen didn’t speak, but was beaten about the head anyway. The thief, described as a black man in his 20s with a shaved head, took the water and fled.

The rob report

Robbers were running wild last week in the area. Here’s a stunning rundown:

• A thief attacked a man near First Place early on June 29 and stole his cellphone.

The man told cops that he was heading southbound on Court Street at around 3:30 am when a thug approached, punched him in the forehead and demanded, “Where’s the s–t? Where’s it at?”

The thief rifled the man’s front pocket and found a Blackberry.

• A Bonnie and Clyde pair was arrested on June 29 after a particularly brutal morning robbery near the Smith-Ninth Street subway station.

The victim said she was nearing the station at around 9 am when a woman threw something at her. Distracted, the victim turned around only to be choked by a man who grabbed her pearl necklace.

But that’s when the female thief started pummeling the victim — even breaking a bottle and taunting her victim with the jagged end, saying, “I’m going to kill you!”

But within minutes, Officer Valerie Francis collared the two perps, police said.

• A thug brutalized a woman in a housing project elevator on July 2, stealing her cellphone.

The victim told cops that she was using the lift inside a building at Bond and Baltic streets when a man entered, bashed her with a metalic object that might have been a gun, and said, gender notwithstanding, “Yo, son, you know what this is. If you scream, I’m going to shoot the s—t out of you.”

She handed over the cellphone, and the thief fled down the stairs.

Gun nut

Cops took a gun off the street on June 30 — but only got lucky because its owner fell asleep on an F train.

Officer John Smith, a transit cop, said that he noticed a man sleeping on the Coney Island-bound train at around 2:10 am, and ordered him to get off at the Smith-Ninth Street stop.

Once there, Smith noticed a bulge in the man’s pocket — but it was unclear if the bulge was a gun or if the man was merely happy to see the officer.

That’s when the thug lunged for his pocket, pulled out a gun and threw it onto the tracks. He was arrested, and the gun was recovered.

Took his Liberty

Cops arrested a man on July 3 whom they believe stole a Jeep Liberty last month — and in doing so, nabbed a druggie with an expired driver’s license, to boot.

Officer Oscar Morales and Sgt. Patrick Quigley said they were on Bond Street at around 8:40 am when they spotted a Jeep Liberty that had been stolen on Hoyt Street on June 18.

They pulled over the car at Baltic Street and discovered that the 49-year-old driver not only was operating the vehicle without a license, but that he also had crack cocaine on him.

Cars gone

At least two cars were swiped last week:

• A Honda Accord that had been parked on Congress Street between Henry and Clinton streets on June 28 at 5:30 pm was gone by 6:45 am the next day.

• A 1997 Nissan that was left on Henry Street between Warren and Baltic streets on June 23 was gone by June 29.

Columburgia

A thief stole jewelry and an electric razor out of a Columbia Street apartment overnight.

The tenant told cops that she was not in the unit, which is between Kane and Degraw streets, from 5 am on June 17 until 10 am the next day, when she returned to discover her front door bashed in and her razor and jewelry, including a gold bracelet marked “XOXO,” was gone.

— Gersh Kuntzman

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