Today’s news:

This guy was no charity case

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Donation deception

A thief disguised as a charity case asked a guy for $2, but then snatched the man’s wallet right out of his hands as he went to hand over a few bucks on Aug. 28.

The victim told cops he was sitting on a park bench at Court and Montague streets at around 2 am when the thief approached and asked for the donation. The man took out his wallet, and the thief made his move and took off into the Borough Hall station. But the thief didn’t make much of a profit; the wallet only contained $17.

High and dry

A thief snatched a woman’s iPod as she walked into the High Street subway station on Aug. 23.

The victim told cops that she was on the platform at the station under Red Cross Place and Cadman Plaza East at around 4:45 pm when the thug approached her, pushed her, and grabbed the mp3 player.

Running with irony

A knife-wielding creep menaced a pair of ladies into handing over their bags and purses, which, ironically enough, contained the book, “Running With Scissors,” on Aug. 29.

The victims told cops that they were at the corner of Nevins and Bergen streets at around 12:30 am when they realized they were being followed. The thug then approached, flashed the knife, and demanded, “Give me your bags.”

The pair complied, handing over six credit cards, two cellphones, an assortment of IDs, sunglasses, gift cards, and the aptly titled book by Augusten Burroughs, which was made into a bad movie. All told, the pair lost $972 worth of stuff.

Gym gank

A thief broke into a locker at the Equinox Fitness Club on Joralemon Street on Aug. 29.

The victim told cops that he returned to his locker in the gym between Court and Clinton streets — which he had closed without a lock — at around 6 pm. That’s when he realized he had lost two credit cards, $20, and an iPhone.

Pay more shoes

A bandit swiped a Long Island University student’s purse while she checked out shoes at Payless on the Fulton Mall on Aug. 27.

The victim told cops that she had left her bag under a bench for a moment while she eyed some footwear at the store between Hanover Place and Bond Streets at around 3 pm. That’s when the thief grabbed the purse and fled the scene.

The woman lost a credit card, cellphone, and an assortment of IDs.

Sheraton swindle

A cunning thief swiped a woman’s bag while she smoked a cigarette in front of the new Sheraton Hotel on Duffield Street on Aug. 27.

The victim told cops that she had stepped outside of the glamorous hotel, which is between Willoughby and Fulton streets, at around 2:30 am and set down her bag to light up.

That’s when the thief must have snatched the bag, which contained $210, a $4,500 wedding ring, a credit card, and a Florida driver’s license.

Unholy

An especially unethical thief stole a woman’s wallet from the Plymouth Church on Aug. 22.

The victim told cops that the man had walked into the church at Joralemon and Hicks streets at around 10:20 am pleading for help when he stole a wallet from a kitchen area.

For some reason, the perp returned to church three days later, and the churchgoers called 911, and the creep was placed under arrest.

As it turned out, the guy even still had the lady’s driver’s license, though she lost $30.

Unlucky charm

A pair of thieves snatched a woman’s purse on Aug. 13.

The victim told cops she was walking into the Chase ATM on Nevins Street and Flatbush Avenue at around 5:45 pm when a creep approached her, and distracted her by claiming that she was a “lucky charm” to win his Three-Card Monte game.

The woman ignored the man and made a withdrawal of $1,000. When she exited the bank, the man approached again, and this time an accomplice sneaked up from behind and snatched her bag containing the hefty sum.

Car swipe

A thief broke into a construction van on Water Street on Aug. 26 and made off with a bevy of pricey equipment.

The owner of the gear, who works for Malanga Construction of Staten Island, told cops that he had parked the vehicle between Hudson Avenue and Gold Street at around 9 am. When he returned an hour later, a steel chop saw, a Heilti laser, and a Walker cement vibrator were missing, worth a total of $4,200.

— Stephen Brown

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