Today’s news:

Bullets over Coney Island

Gun crazy

A trigger-happy 32-year-old was arrested on Sept. 19 after he was caught opening fire on a man walking along W. 25th Street.

Early in the evening, the thug approached his victim, who was between Mermaid and Surf avenues, flashed his gun and said he would “shoot everybody.”

When the thug spotted the victim again at 2:21 am, he chased after the man, firing a round over his head.

Cops caught him with his gun a short time later.

Bus blues

A bottle bruiser attacked a fellow straphanger on Sept. 13 following a verbal argument on an MTA bus rolling down Sheepshead Bay Road.

The victim said the bus was nearing E. 16th Street just after 9 am when an unhinged rider started arguing with him.

Things quickly became heated and the rider struck the victim in the head with a bottle, guaranteeing that his trip was going to be redirected to Coney Island Hospital.

Running on empty

A would-be drunk driver was arrested on Sept. 21 after he was spotted weaving out of a parking lot near the corner of W. First Street and Avenue Y.

Police allege — of all things — that they stopped the 26-year-old motorist because he “failed to signal entering the roadway from the parked position” at 2:59 am.

Yes, it’s the law, but not many people do this when they’re leaving their parking spot.

Still, the police were right in arresting the motorist. When given a Breathalyzer test his score was the equivalent of an 180-pound man having five drinks, officials said.

Cut stomach

A 47-year-old woman was arrested on Sept. 18 for allegedly slashing another woman’s stomach during a row on Bay 22nd Street.

The women were arguing inside an apartment, which is between Bath and Cropsey avenues, at 6:20 pm when one woman lashed out at the other with a knife, leaving her victim with a few deep cuts to the abdomen.

Face puncher bust

A 28-year-old man was arrested on Sept. 18 after he allegedly attacked another man on 86th Street.

Police said the two were arguing between 19th Avenue and Bay 22nd Street at 2:30 am when the fired up fiend lashed out with his fist, hitting his opponent in the nose.

Cops apprehended the nose popper a short time later, charging him with assault in the third degree.

Shoplifting struggle

A 49-year-old shoplifter fought off police after he was caught swiping $78 worth of merchandise from the CVS on Sheepshead Bay Road on Sept. 9.

Police were called to the store, which is between E. 14th and E. 15th streets, at 1:30 pm, but when they tried to cuff the would-be thief, he attacked them. After a brief struggle cops got him under control and added resisting arrest to his charges, officials said.

Our lady of damage

Cops are looking for the fiends who pelted Our Lady of Grace school on Sept. 10, damaging several windows.

Administrators at the Avenue W school, which is between W. First and West streets said that the windows were damaged in the back of the school sometime between Sept. 10 and Sept. 17.

Delivery debacle

A knife-wielding thief jumped a man delivering food to Avenue W on Sept. 5.

The victim said he had entered a building, which is between Batchelder and Bragg streets, and was about to get into the elevator at 1:35 pm when the suspect flashed his knife and put him in a headlock.

“Give me food and money,” the thief said as he made off with $70 and his order.

NYPD loot

A brazen thief broke into an unmarked NYPD police car as it sat on Van Sicklen Street in Gravesend on Sept. 8.

The cop left his cruiser parked between Kings Highway and Avenue S at 11 pm. When he returned a short time later, someone had already removed the car’s navigation system, some important papers and — adding insult to injury — the floor mats.

Home invasion

Two gun-toting thugs slipped into an E. 13th Street home on Sept. 4, surprising, pistol-whipping and robbing four people they found inside.

Residents of the home between Avenue U and Avenue V said they were asleep at 8 am when the thieves entered through a side window and woke everyone up.

The thugs ordered everyone onto the floor and pistol-whipped three of the victims while ordering the fourth to hand over $700, some jewelry and a pair of pricey Air Jordan sneakers.

Bedroom break-in

A thief slipped into an Ocean Avenue apartment on Sept. 7, taking two Coach handbags and an assortment of jewelry from the victim’s bedroom.

The victim told police she mistakenly left her rear window unlocked as she left for the day at 9:30 am. When she returned home, she discovered that someone had already been inside, ransacked the bedroom and fled through the rear door.

Mugged on Kings Highway

A 19-year-old thug attacked another man at the corner of E. 17th Street and Kings Highway on Sept. 17, taking $30 during the struggle.

The victim was nearing the corner at 7:45 pm when the suspect jumped him and took the money from his pocket.

Cops caught up with the thief a short time later, charging him with robbery.

Stabbed during break-up

A thug stabbed a 26-year-old man in the back on Sept. 19 during a brawl on Utica Avenue.

The victim was hanging out with his pal between Avenues I and J at 5 am when he got into an argument with an unidentified male.

When things got violent the victim tried to break up the fight, but was stabbed for his trouble.

Left in stitches

A 22-year-old E. 57th Street resident was arrested last week for attacking his father with a bottle, leaving the older man needing 10 stitches.

Police said that the two family members were arguing in their home, which is between Flatlands Avenue and Avenue J, on April 20 when the son grabbed the bottle and attacked.

The assault was never reported until this week, said police, who arrested the son on assault charges after they were told what had happened.

Tire swiped

At least two cars ended up on cinder blocks in the area last week. Here’s the rundown:

• Thieves jacked up a 2009 Nissan Maxima left parked on E. 24th Street between Quentin Road and Avenue R sometime after 2 am on Sept. 17.

• Thieves lifted up a 2010 Nissan Maxima, left parked on Avenue S between E. 24th Street and Bedford Avenue, after 8:30 pm on Spet. 16. They removed the pricey tires and left the car on cinder blocks.

Purse grab

A thug robbed a woman of her purse on Sept. 15 during a furious exchange on E. 71st Street.

The 23-year-old victim told police that she was walking between Avenues T and U when the unidentified thug attacked her.

The thug swiped the woman’s purse from her grasp and then drove away in a red minivan.

E. 27 Street burgle

More than $16,000 was removed from an E. 27th Street home on September 18, police said.

The 28-year-old resident told police he left his home, which is between Avenues P and Quentin Road, at 3 pm. When he returned at 11 pm, he found his upstairs window wide open and his cash, computer, television and jewelry missing.

Car bust

A 21-year-old man was arrested on Sep. 19 after he was caught looting a car on Avenue S.

Cops were patrolling between E. 26th and E. 27th streets at 3:45 am when they spotted the suspect rifling through a 2004 Chevy Impala.

The officers immediately took him into custody, and found a hypodermic needle in his pocket, officials said.

Stolen hearts

A 56-year-old man was arrested on Sept. 13 after he mugged his ex-girlfriend.

Police said that the man argued with his girlfriend inside her apartment, which is on E. 53rd Street between Avenues M and N, at 8 pm and then ran off with a number of electronic items — only to be arrested a short time later.

Jewelry jack

A thief broke into an Avenue N jewelry store on Sept. 14, but only made off with a wooden box.

Workers at Seaview Jewelers, which is between E. 59th Street and Ralph Avenue, said that someone cut their way through the front gate around 3:30 am and entered, but nothing was taken except the box.

It was unclear if any valuables were inside the box as this paper went to press.

Clothing crooks

An assortment of clothes and $700 was removed from Tabeez Clothing on Sept. 16 after thieves raided the Nostrand Avenue store.

Workers said they closed their clothier shop, which is between Avenues L and M, sometime around 6 pm. When they returned for work the next morning, they realized that someone had broken the lock to the front door and ransacked the place.

Stabber sought

A cruel character stabbed a 44-year-old woman in the neck and leg on Sept. 8 before running off with her cell phone.

Police said that the thug, who was later arrested, attacked during an argument inside the woman’s home, which is on Avenue J between E. 31st and E. 32nd streets, at 3:50 am.

9-11 shooting

A gunman shot a 25-year-old in his abdomen in Flatlands on Sept. 11.

The victim told police that he was nearing the corner of Avenue H and E. 54th Street at 3 pm when he began arguing with the stranger, who decided to end the spat with a bullet.

The victim was listed in stable condition following treatment at a local hospital.

Sharp confrontation

Three knife-wielding thugs mugged a 15-year-old near the corner of Marine Parkway and Fillmore Avenue on Sept. 7, taking his cellphone and iPod Touch.

The victim told cops he was nearing the corner at 6 pm when the suspects surrounded him.

Stabbed in the back

Three fiends jumped a 29-year-old on Sept. 8 for no apparent reason, stabbing their victim in the back.

The victim told police he was nearing the corner of Lott Place and E. 40th Street at 12:30 pm when the suspects attacked and stabbed him twice.

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