Today’s news:

Mercedes Benz menace hits Sheepshead Bay

Benz jack

Two thugs attacked and robbed a 28-year-old of his 2010 Mercedes Benz on Sept. 25 during a furious exchange near the corner of Shore Parkway and E. 19th Street.

The victim had just closed the trunk of his car at 12:05 pm when the two suspects attacked, punching him repeatedly.

The thieves swiped the victim’s keys and sped off in his luxury car, officials said. They were still being sought by late Tuesday.

Blade bum

A thief robbed a 48-year-old man at knifepoint on Sept. 23, but was arrested before he could spend any of his ill-gotten gains.

The victim told police that he was walking down E. 22nd Street between Avenue W and Avenue X at 3:45 am when the thug appeared and put a knife to his throat.

The thief made off with more than $1,300, but cops arrested him a short time later.

Attack of the ‘red hood’

A red-hooded thief robbed a 14-year-old of his cellphone during a Sept. 21 confrontation near the corner of E. 29th Street and Voorhies Avenue.

The teen had just left P.S. 52 at 7:30 pm when the thief knocked him to the ground and ordered him to fork over his $357 phone.

Home raid

Thieves broke into a Bedford Avenue home on Sept. 22, taking $1,000, some jewelry and an assortment of prescription medications.

The 81-year-old victim said the thieves snapped the lock to the front door of his home, which is between Avenues V and W, sometime between 4 pm that day and 1 pm the following Saturday.

Cool runnings

A thief entered an E. 15th Street home on Sept. 22 after pulling an air conditioner out of a kitchen window.

The owner of the home, which is between Avenues U and V, said the thief removed the air conditioner sometime after 6:30 pm.

When the victim returned home two hours later, the window was wide open and an iPod, some jewelry, a laptop computer and a pearl necklace were missing.

Gravesend goon

A thief pulled a knife on an 18-year-old on Sept. 18, robbing him of his iPod, chain and ring.

The victim told police he was nearing the corner of Avenue P and W. 8th Street at 11:30 pm when the suspect ran up with a knife in his hand.

“Sit down right here and give me everything,” the thief ordered.

The victim did what he was told and the thief ran off with the loot, cops were told.

Porn problems

A thief conned a 34-year-old Bay Parkway man he met at a XXX store to take him home, where he beat and robbed him on Sept. 18.

The victim told police he met the thief in Sunset Park porn shop and took him to his apartment, which is between 84th and 85th streets, at about 6 pm.

But once there, the thief beat the Bensonhurst resident up and ran off with his property.

Nine on three

A crew of thugs attacked three men near the corner of Cropsey Avenue and Bay 10th Street on Sept. 26, attacking the trio with a baseball bat, a knife and a car.

Police said the bloody brawl broke out at about 5:25 pm, but the fisticuffs soon grew out of control with one of the thugs pulling a knife and slashing an 18-year-old victim, leaving him with injuries to his face, arms and hands.

As the two remaining victims tried to escape, one of them was attacked with a baseball bat, officials said. The second man was nearly run over by one of the suspect’s cars.

Responding officers rounded up and arrested all nine suspects, charging them with assault.

Our lady of damage

Cops are looking for the fiends who pelted Our Lady of Grace school on Sept. 10, damaging several windows.

Administrators at the Avenue W school, which is between W. First and West streets said that the windows were damaged in the back of the school sometime between Sept. 10 and Sept. 17.

NYPD loot

A brazen thief broke into an unmarked NYPD police car as it sat on Van Sicklen Street in Gravesend on Sept. 8.

The cop left his cruiser parked between Kings Highway and Avenue S at 11 pm. When he returned a short time later, someone had already removed the car’s navigation system, some important papers and — adding insult to injury — the floor mats.

Bus blues

A bottle bruiser attacked a fellow straphanger on Sept. 13 following a verbal argument on an MTA bus rolling down Sheepshead Bay Road.

The victim said the bus was nearing E. 16th Street just after 9 am when an unhinged rider started arguing with him.

Things quickly became heated and the rider struck the victim in the head with a bottle, guaranteeing that his trip was going to be redirected to Coney Island Hospital.

Rail robbery

Two thugs robbed a 15-year-old as he rode a Coney Island-bound Q train through Midwood.

The victim told police he got on the train at the Avenue J station at 7:50 am. Ten minutes later two 19-year-old males jumped him as the train approached the Kings Highway station.

The thieves punched him and then went into his pockets, taking $3, cops were told.

Burglar busted

A would-be burglar kicked his way into an E. 19th Street home on Sept. 25, but was arrested after he was caught fleeing the scene with his arms full of loot.

Cops were told that the 47-year-old man forced open the front door to the home, which is between Avenues R and S, with a swift kick, but responding officers quickly caught up with him as he tried to run off with as much as he could carry.

Audi attack

A thief broke into a 2003 Audi parked on Avenue S on Sept. 23, taking the navigation system he found inside.

The car’s owner said he parked his vehicle between E. 14th and E. 15th streets at 7 pm. Over the next few hours someone broke the driver’s window and rifled through the cabin, taking the navigation system and a watch.

Attacked with shovel

Three thugs hit a man with a shovel in Flatlands on Sept. 18.

The 35-year-old victim was arguing with the trio at 7:40 am on E. 48th Street between Avenues N and O when the suspects jumped him, then struck him with the tool.

Pharmacy raid

Thieves broke into the Expedite Care pharmacy on Nostrand Avenue on Sept. 14, taking $4,000.

Workers at the pharmacy, which is between Avenues H and I, said that someone ripped out an iron gate protecting a back window to get inside.

Garage goons sought

Three thieves tried to break into a Bergen Beach garage on Sept. 15, but ran off after being discovered.

A Bergen Avenue resident, who lives between Ralph Avenue and Avenue K, said he saw the thieves trying to pry open the garage door at 4:50 pm, but they ran off when they realized they were being watched.

Royce attack

A thug attacked his brother during a Sept. 19 spat on Royce Place, leaving his sibling with a broken arm.

Police said the brothers were arguing at 9:10 pm when the suspect attacked his sibling with a heavy metal object.

Laptop swipe

A thief made off with a 40-year-old man’s laptop computer as he typed away in an Avenue N park.

The victim told police he was inside the park, which is near Utica Avenue, at 1:20 pm when the thief rolled by on a bicycle and snagged the pricey item.

Front door thug

A thief barged into an E. 41st Street home on Sept. 13, taking an assortment of cash, clothes and electronics.

The 54-year-old homeowner, whose home is between Avenue N and Flatbush Avenue, said the thief forced his way through the front door at about 7 am, and took off with the loot.

Home swindle

He should have known — this was too good to be true.

A man told police that he was conned into paying $8,000 for an Avenue I home.

The 57-year-old victim said the con man approached him back in November, 2009, about the home, which is between Nostrand Avenue and E. 31st Street.

The victim probably thought that he was getting the house for a steal, but soon realized that this would-be realtor was the true thief, since it turned out he never had a deed to the house.

E. 27 Street burgle

More than $16,000 was removed from an E. 27th Street home on September 18, police said.

The 28-year-old resident told police he left his home, which is between Avenues P and Quentin Road, at 3 pm. When he returned at 11 pm, he found his upstairs window wide open and his cash, computer, television and jewelry missing.

Stabbed during break-up

A thug stabbed a 26-year-old man in the back on Sept. 19 during a brawl on Utica Avenue.

The victim was hanging out with his pal between Avenues I and J at 5 am when he got into an argument with an unidentified male.

When things got violent the victim tried to break up the fight, but was stabbed for his trouble.

Purse grab

A thug robbed a woman of her purse on Sept. 15 during a furious exchange on E. 71st Street.

The 23-year-old victim told police that she was walking between Avenues T and U when the unidentified thug attacked her.

The thug swiped the woman’s purse from her grasp and then drove away in a red minivan.

Clothing crooks

An assortment of clothes and $700 was removed from Tabeez Clothing on Sept. 16 after thieves raided the Nostrand Avenue store.

Workers said they closed their clothier shop, which is between Avenues L and M, sometime around 6 pm. When they returned for work the next morning, they realized that someone had broken the lock to the front door and ransacked the place.

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