Today’s news:

Pot lover bites cop

Marijuana menace

Who says pot relaxes you?

A 25-year-old woman tried to take a bite out of a police officer arresting her for marijuana possession in Coney Island on Oct. 13.

Police spotted the woman buying marijuana at the corner of Neptune Avenue and W. 25th Street at 4:45 pm.

They then trailed her to the corner of W. 23rd Street and Highland Avenue, where they attempted to arrest her.

But when cops approached, the woman fought back, sinking her teeth into an officer’s arm before she was ultimately arrested, police said.

Hair heist

A thief with apparent plans for a night on the town was arrested on Oct. 18 after she tried to steal a Revlon speed dryer and a set of Conair “super jumbo” rollers from a Coney Island PathMark.

Police said that the 40-year-old woman was nabbed as she tried to sneak the items from the Cropsey Avenue supermarket at 9 am.

Corner clash

Two men were arrested when they were caught battling each other at the corner of 18th Avenue and 86th Street on Oct. 15.

Cops rolled up to the two men at 1:30 am, after a 23-year-old suspect broke a glass bottle over his 21-year-old opponent’s head.

The 21-year-old was arrested for punching his victim repeatedly before the glass bottle was thrown into the mix, officials said.

Kohl crook

A 53-year-old woman was arrested on Oct. 17 after she tried to steal several bottles of perfume from the Bay Parkway Kohl’s.

Store security guards said they smelled something fishy when they spotted the woman putting the fragrances, as well as an assortment of clothes, into a bag without paying for them.

Glass houses

A thief busted through the skylight of an E. 19th Street home on Oct. 15, taking an assortment of jewelry.

The homeowner said she left her house, which is between Avenues Y and Z, at 2 pm.

When she returned at 8:30 pm, she found nothing wrong until she went to her bedroom, which was left covered with glass shards.

Bike bruiser

A 22-year-old was arrested on Oct. 14 after he tried to rob a bicyclist on Avenue Z.

The victim told police he was pedaling near Ocean Avenue, listening to music at 2 pm when the fiend shoved him off the bike and demanded his cell phone.

The thief ran off after making his demand, said police, who caught up with the thief a short time later.

Beer bust

A worker at F XPress was beaten up on Oct. 14 when a thief entered the Avenue X store looking for some free beer.

The 30-year-old thief entered the store, which is on McDonald Avenue, at 5:15 am, pulled a bottle of Budweiser from the refrigerator and tried to leave, but the employee stopped him.

The two began to struggle with the thug punching the victim repeatedly before cops took him into custody.

Birthday bash

A birthday party at the Any Way Cafe ended in bloodshed on Oct. 12 when a fight broke out inside the Oriental Boulevard restaurant.

Festivities were in full swing at 12:30 am when a 46-year-old victim’s ex-girlfriend — and her new boyfriend — joined the celebration.

After a few sharp words, the new beau attacked the 46-year-old with a small table, leaving him hospitalized, police said.

Coerced out of cash

A crew of thieves threatened to kill a Bensonhurst woman’s child on Oct. 6 if she didn’t take them to her home and fork over her cash and jewelry.

The victim was nearing the corner of 23rd Avenue and 82nd Street at 1:10 pm when the thieves pulled up in a car.

At first, they asked if she knew how to get to 14th Avenue. Then, suddenly, they began threatening her, claiming they had a gun.

The suspects dragged the woman inside the car, then said if she didn’t take them to her home, they would wait outside her child’s school and kill him.

She did what she as told, ultimately giving them $3,000 and some jewelry.

For good measure, the thieves forced her to take them to a nearby bank, where she withdrew $1,000 more, before leaving her at the corner of Avenue O and W. 10th Street in Gravesend.

Road Rage on Ocean

A motorist went ballistic during a furious road rage exchange on Oct. 9 and attacked a woman’s car following a near miss on Ocean Avenue.

The woman told police she was rolling between Avenues V and U at 12:25 pm when a black Nissan Maxima cut her off.

The Nissan stopped and a man jumped out, screaming at the woman so fiercely that she rolled up her windows and locked her doors.

Enraged, the other driver slammed his fist onto the driver’s side mirror — cracking it — before speeding off.

Late-night shopping

Thieves broke into an Avenue Z grocery on Oct. 4, taking $200 and $3,000 in cigarettes.

The thieves ripped up the security shutters to the side of the store, which is between E. 13th and E. 14th streets, sometime after 11 pm, after workers had closed for the night.

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