Today’s news:

An ‘American’ crime

78th Precinct

Park Slope

Hothead

Cops arrested a violent fashionista who tried to steal clothes from the Flatbush Avenue American Apparel on Oct. 28.

The victim told police that the perp tried to leave the store, which is between Park and Sterling places, at 2:15 pm without paying for $763 worth of merchandise. When confronted, the thug head butted the victim in the face and tried to flee.

Cops soon accessorized the jerk’s outfit with a set of cuffs.

$20K question

A perp stole more than $20,000 from the front seat of a car getting its tire changed on Fourth Avenue on Oct. 28.

The victim told cops that he withdrew the mountain of moolah for his employer, Village Market, then noticed that his tire needed air. He drove to a garage near 11th Street at 12:20 pm to repair the tire, and 10 minutes later the dough was missing.

Home intrude-ment

Some jerk crawled through a window and stole some electronics out of a 14th Street home on Oct. 25.

The victim told cop that he left his house, which is between Fourth and Fifth Avenues, at 11:45 am to go on a walk. Fifteen minutes later, he returned to find the air conditioner missing from his front window, and his laptop gone. Neighbors told police that they saw the thieving handyman remove the air conditioner.

Strip down

Thieves gutted the elaborate interior of a Chevy Tahoe on Baltic Street overnight on Oct. 25.

The victim told cops that he parked the car near Fourth Avenue at 8 pm, but at 3 pm the next day, he discovered the shell of his former car.

Thugs had taken the radio and navigation system, both back seats, a central entertainment center, and a TV embedded in the headrest — enough booty to construct a normal living room.

OyPhone folly

A free-wheeling thug snatched an iPhone out of a woman’s hand on Berkeley Place on Oct. 26.

The victim told police that she was near Seventh Avenue at 7 pm when the thief approached and yanked away her cellphone, then hopped on a bike and fled.

The crime was a shocking echo to a wave of terror last year in Park Slope featuring the same type of mobile thief.

Jarhead

Bandits stole a Playstation 3 and a jar of coins from an unlocked 14th Street apartment on Oct. 27.

The victim told cops that he went to the gym at 2:40 pm and left his aunt inside the apartment, which is near Fourth Avenue. His aunt left without locking the door, and the victim returned at 4:15 pm to find the electronics and coins missing.

Car trouble

A carjacker stole a 1989 Chevy van from Dean Street overnight on Oct. 26.

The victim told cops that he parked the vechile near Fourth Avenue at 6 pm. Twelve hours later, the van was missing.

— Joe Anuta

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