Today’s news:

Not banking on the police

Bank boob

A thief tried to knock over a Ralph Avenue bank on Dec. 10 — not knowing that two cops were using the ATM in the lobby at the time.

Workers told police that the 34-year-old thief, a Canarsie resident, entered the Capital One Bank, which is between Avenues K and L, at 9:47 am wearing a ski mask and holding a laundry bag.

When the brazen boob reached a teller, he told the bank employee to “fill the bag up” with the money from her cash drawer.

But his appearance surprised bankers — at least one of whom ran up to two cops who had just walked into the bank, reporting a robbery in progress.

The cops jumped into action — right when the thief turned to leave with his sack full of cash — placing the thief into custody without incident.

More bank failures

A thief stormed a Flatbush Avenue bank on Dec. 3, but ultimately ran off empty-handed.

Workers told police that the thief waited on line at 10:38 am, then handed a teller a note on yellow paper, demanding money.

But the thief got cold feet and fled when the teller stepped away from the window, cops were told.

Cashing in

A thief entered a Kings Highway restaurant on Dec. 5, taking $80.

Workers at the eatery, which is near E. 40th Street, said the 30-year-old thief approached the register with his hand in his pocket, as if he was holding a gun.

Cop kicker busted

A 56-year-old man wigged out against a group of cops on Dec. 2, kicking one of the police officers in the head.

Police said the suspect was being arrested on an unrelated charge at the corner of Flatbush Avenue and Shore Parkway at 12:20 am when he decided to fight off the officers.

Window breaker

A thief tried to break into an Avenue L home on Nov. 30, but ended up fleeing empty-handed after shattering a bedroom window with a hammer.

The 74-year-old homeowner, who lives near E. 31st Street, told police that the attempted burglary took place at 11:15 am.

Clothing mill

A thief broke into a Mill Basin home on Nov. 30, taking an assortment of clothes and electronics.

A tenant inside the E. 53rd Place home, which is between Avenues T and U, said he wasn’t sure how the thief got inside.

Up in smoke

A crook broke into a delivery truck parked on Flatlands Avenue on Dec. 1, taking 19 cartons of cigarettes.

The truck was parked near E. 40th Street when a teenage thief clipped the padlock and forced the side door open, cops were told.

Bag snatch

A thug jumped a 47-year-old woman near the corner of Avenue J and Troy Avenue on Nov. 30, taking her purse.

The thief ripped the bag right off the woman’s shoulder as he ran by her at 2:55 pm, cops were told.

ATM pillage

Someone busted into an ATM in front of a Flatlands Avenue bodega on Nov. 29.

Police said that the money distribution machine near E. 36th Street was cracked open at 8 pm, and $3,670 was taken.

Car loot

Thieves broke into a car parked on Flatlands Avenue and Avenue I on Dec. 4, taking an assortment of electronics and personal items.

The 61-year-old owner of the car said he parked at the corner at 10:30 am and left the vehicle. He returned a few hours later, only to learn that someone had broken the driver’s side window and removed a navigation system, iPod, checkbook and some credit cards.

Help wipe out graffiti

As the ongoing war against graffiti vandalism continues, cops are offering a $500 reward to anyone with information that can help them arrest neighborhood vandals.

The hefty reward is part of the city’s ongoing push to rid New York of graffiti, the leading quality of life complaint brought to police.

Anyone with information about graffiti vandalism in their neighborhood is urged to contact either 311 or 911.

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