Today’s news:

Stan rehashes — and explains — the quotes of the year

• “Happiness is meeting Alan Grayson on the unemployment line.”Are election losers permitted to collect unemployment?

• “Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine… Go home. Poland. Germany, and everywhere else.” Journalist Bernie Goldberg commented about the author, “You know for certain that she didn’t sleep her way to the top.”

•“Obama’s rise has been spectacular, but so too has been his fall.” That’s what happens when any elected official, no matter what his position, doesn’t listen to his constituents.

• “I’m not a witch.” Perhaps if you were, you could have used a bit of black magic to get you elected.

• Four gambling brothers made history when they all won money in the World Series of Poker Main Event. Momma, Susan Mizrachi, said, “I’ll be honest with you, I really wish they had grown up to be doctors.” Yes. Momma is Jewish.

• “Take out the trash — Nov 2nd.” I don’t know who the first to say it was, but I received dozens of e-mails from friends and strangers with those instructions.

• “If ballots don’t work, use bullets,” was said by a radio talk show host. Those are words that one should never be thinking let alone say out loud.

• “If you touch my junk…” Among the many different designations for the male genitalia are the family jewels, my family tools, the lunchbox, the twig and berries, and dozens of others. But junk? Never. Open your dictionary. By definition it isn’t.

• “This is a big f----- deal.” It certainly is, even if 70 percent of the country wants it repealed.

• And here’s another one I can’t argue with. It makes a lot of sense to me.

“Surely something must be terribly wrong with a man who seems to be far more concerned with Jews building houses in Israel than with Muslims building a nuclear bomb in Iran.” Anybody care to tell me why?

• The big, bold headline shouted: NOW EARN THAT NOBEL PEACE PRIZE MR. PRESIDENT.

To date he has not. On that same subject an important patriot stated, “As an American I am not so shocked that Obama was given the Nobel Peace Prize without any accomplishments to his name, because America gave him the White House based on the same credentials.”

• “Let’s pass this thing so that we can find out what’s in it.” So they passed it and they still don’t know what’s in it. What they do know is that more than five dozen congressmen who voted for it are looking for new jobs.

• I doubt if he really said it but on t-shirts, in e-mails and on a billboard are photos of President Bush asking, “Miss me yet?” Looking at the shellacking of the recent elections, it seems that a lot of American voters do.

I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net wishing you all health, happiness, success, love and a safe New Year.

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