Today’s news:

Burglar offers some creepy advice

76th Precinct

Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Now you tell me?

A creep burglarized a Dikeman street home — and then offered advice to his victim after the deed was done on March 26.

The 44-year-old victim said she surprised the thug in her home located near Richards Street at around 4:30 am, and he demanded money. Just as he was about to leave with $75, he said, “You should lock your windows — you live near the projects.” He also attempted to show a softer side, saying, “I wasn’t going to shoot to kill you, I was just going to shoot you in the leg.”

Unlucky Cheng’s

Someone viciously stabbed a man outside a Lorraine Street restaurant on March 27.

The 34-year-old victim said he was outside Cheng’s, a take-out joint near Columbia Street, at around 5 pm when another man suddenly stabbed him in the shoulder, back of the neck, and top of the head. The victim was taken to Lutheran Hospital.

Bus pop

A man was robbed at gunpoint at a Van Brunt Street bus stop on March 19.

The 63-year-old victim said that he was near Sullivan Street at 3:30 am when a thug wearing a red baseball hat flashed a silver pistol and demanded money.

The jerk made off with $110, a checkbook, ATM card, library card and military discharge forms.

Apple picked

Someone burglarized a Henry Street home on March 24, taking jewelry and a computer.

The 35-year-old victim told cops that she left her home, which is near Luquer Street, at around 9 am and returned about 11 hours later to find her Apple laptop and gold jewelry were gone.

Foul play

Five teens stole a man’s wallet inside Carroll Park on March 25.

The 23-year-old victim said he was playing basketball at Court and President streets at 4:30 pm when a member of the group asked to join. During the distraction, the other creeps made off with the victim’s wallet, HTC cellphone, $20, driver’s license and social security card.

— Gary Buiso

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