Today’s news:

Four grand taken by gun-toting thieves

Gunning for cash

Two armed goons lifted $4,000 from two victims on March 18 during a high-stakes robbery on E. Fifth Street.

The victims, both 20, were nearing Avenue U at 11:16 pm when the thieves approached and flashed their firearm. They then rifled through their victim’s pockets, taking the money, some credit cards and a set of keys.

Carnivore caper

A 47-year-old thief with large canines was arrested on March 18 after he tried to swipe 13 packets of meat from the Sea Bay Seafood and Meat on Avenue U.

Workers at the store, which is between Homecrest Avenue and E. 13th Street, said the thief came in at 5:13 pm and began taking the meat off of store shelves.

He put the meat in a plastic bag and headed for the door, but store employees stopped him before he could complete his getaway.

Building buster busted

A 46-year-old burglar was arrested on March 19 after he was caught sneaking into an Avenue T building.

Witnesses told police that the thief was seen trying to pry open a window to the building, which is between E. 13th and E. 14th streets, at 12:15 am.

He was carrying a duffle bag containing a radio, a saw and some pipe-cutting tools when cops apprehended him a short time later.

Teen terrors

A 17-year-old girl was arrested on March 19 after she attacked two peers on Avenue U.

Police said that two 16-year-old girls were waiting for a bus near Coney Island Avenue at 3 am when the older teen approached with two of her friends, sparking an argument.

The victims said that the three assailants jumped one 16-year-old and then punched the other when she tried to break-up the fisticuffs.

The 17-year-old’s accomplices were still at large by Monday night.

Payless pinch

A gunman held up an Avenue U Payless shoe store on March 13 during a daring evening raid.

Workers at the store, which is between E. 16th and E. 17th streets, told police that the thief surprised a female employee as she brought out the trash at 5 pm.

The thief forced the employee inside, then ordered a manager to open the safe, which he looted.

Counter-feat

A crook bought an iPad for a steal on March 8 when he used four counterfeit $100 bills during a transaction at the corner of Nostrand Avenue and Quentin Road.

The 34-year-old victim told police that he sold his iPad to the stranger, whom he met online, for $500 that afternoon.

A short time later, he realized that he’d been had: four of the five $100 bills he was handed were fake.

And he didn’t have a chance to pass the buck, so to speak. His bank on Ralph Avenue in Mill Basin confiscated the funny money when he went to confirm that they were indeed fake.

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