Today’s news:

Vicious beating at Kevin Barry’s

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Beer bash

A violent creep smashed a bottle over a poor guy’s head at a restaurant on Lawrence Street on April Fools’ Day.

The 30-year-old victim told cops he was breaking up a fight at Kevin Barry’s near Willoughby Street at around 11:30 pm when someone smashed the beer bottle over his head from behind, and ran away.

An ambulance rushed the poor peacemaker to Kings County Hospital, where he was given 10 stiches.

Arm kicker

A crook swiped a fancy phone from teenage boy on the Fulton Mall on March 28.

The 17-year-old victim told cops that he had leaned over to tie his shoe near Gallatin Place at around 3:30 pm when the thug kicked him in the left forearm, knocking the cellphone out of his hand. The jerk then snatched the phone and ran east, leaving the poor kid with a bruise on his hand.

Key suspect

A crook stole some fancy musical equipment from a media executive on Pacific Street between Feb. 9 and March 30.

The 35-year-old victim told cops that he left his apartment near Boerum Place for two months, then came back to find that his $2,000 Triton keyboard and a $650 digital music mixing board had been taken.

Cops questioned his ex-girlfriend but did not arrest her.

The envelope

A group of thugs beat up a teen then stole his cash on Gold Street on April 2.

The 14-year-old victim told cops that he was on his way to get a money order for his mom near York Street at 11:30 am, when five guys punched him in the stomach and face. They snatched an envelope full of $700 from his back pocket, then ran away.

Chump change

A jerk roughed up teenager on Willoughby Street on March 30.

The 14-year-old victim told cops that he was near Carlton Avenue at 2 pm when a man shouted, “Yo! What’s poppin’?” and then tried to dig into the teen’s pockets. The kid pushed the thug’s hand away and tried to escape, but the violent jerk then whacked him, causing him to fall.

The jerk then snatched all of the money the kid had: Two bucks.

Cash snatch

A thug beat up a man outside of a building on Bridge Street on April 3.

The 25-year-old victim told cops he was entering a building near York Street at about 4 am when a man punched him in the head, then snatched $10.

Motorcycle diary

A crook snatched a sweet motorcycle from a student on Tillary Street on March 30.

The 21-year-old victim told cops that he had parked his $4,000 2008 Yamaha near Adams Street at around 2 pm, then went to school at City Tech. He finished class a few hours later, then went looking for his ride — but it was nowhere to be found.

Neck faced

A crook stole some fancy jewelry from a woman on Jay Street on April 3.

The 58-year-old lady told cops that she left her apartment unlocked while a team of construction workers repaired her bedroom near Concord Street at around 10 am.

A few hours later, she noticed someone had snatched $7,765 worth of jewelry, including a $6,000 engagement ring and a $900 Tiffany necklace.

No secret

A jerk swiped a purse from a salon worker on Smith Street on March 29.

The employee told cops that she placed her Louis Vuitton bag inside a cabinet at Ocean Nail salon near Warren Street at around 3 pm, then went to buy some coffee. Six hours later, she noticed her bag — full of $1,200 cash and credit cards — was gone.

She later learned someone had used the cards to buy goodies at Victoria’s Secret nearby.

— Natalie O’Neill

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