Today’s news:

Painted up pinchers rob 26-year-old

W. Sixth rampage

A crew of thugs sporting masks and war paint jumped a 26-year-old on March 31, taking his wallet and chain.

The victim was on his way home from a Gravesend bar at 2:25 am when the suspects surrounded him, demanding his property.

The victim told police the goons shoved him to the ground, took his wallet and jewelry, and fled in an old Honda Civic.

Wild time

A thug wooed, then wounded, a woman walking her dog on Avenue Z on April 2.

The victim and her pet were approaching Haring Street at 1 am when the unidentified goon repeatedly tried to get her attention.

“We could have a wild time together,” the stranger said as he pressed the issue.

When the woman refused his advances, the thug punched her in the face and ran off — leaving her with a minor cut.

Bungled robbery

Three bone-headed thieves tried to rob a 44-year-old bicyclist on March 31 — but ended up behind bars moments after the 85th Street clash.

The victim was pedaling toward 24th Avenue at 6:44 pm when the thieves knocked him off his bike.

They were trying to rob the man of his cash when cops rolled up and arrested them.

Comb clash

A 17-year-old was arrested on March 28 for cutting up another teen’s face during a dispute over a comb.

Police said the teen and his victim, who is also 17, were arguing over the comb, which the suspect allegedly stole, outside a deli near the corner of 79th Street and 16th Avenue back on Jan. 14.

When the two started fighting, the suspect smashed his victim in the face with a glass bottle, leaving his enemy with deep facial lacerations that needed more than 100 stitches to close.

Home ransacked

Thieves broke into an Irwin Street home in Manhattan Beach on April 1, taking $250.

The owner of the home, which is between Shore and Oriental boulevards, said someone smashed the kitchen window with a brick, then ransacked the place.

Shoplifter slice

A shoplifter made off with several electric items from an 86th Street Rite Aid on March 29 after he pulled a knife on a store security guard.

The thief flashed the knife at 1:07 pm as he made his way through the doors of the store, which is between Bay 10th and Bay 11th streets.

Purse grab

A thug made off with a woman’s purse on March 27 after kicking the hapless 23-year-old to the ground on 68th Street.

The victim was walking between 19th and 20th avenues at 9 pm when the suspect ran by, snagging her purse.

The woman refused to let go of her bag until the thief began kicking her in the legs, causing her to lose her balance.

Door devil

A thief busted his way into a 64th Street home on March 31, taking an assortment of electronics.

The owner of the home, which is between 24th Avenue and Dahill Road, said the thief forced open the front door, damaging it in the process, at around 8:30 am.

Cycle swipe

A thief broke into a garage on 21st Avenue on March 28, taking a 2007 Yamaha motorcycle.

The owner of the home, which is between Bath and Cropsey avenues, said someone pried open the door to the garage sometime after 6:30 pm — taking both his motorcycle and helmet.

Busted for DWI

A Brooklyn garbage man was arrested on drunk driving charges in Coney Island on April 3.

Police did not disclose where the city Department of Sanitation member was arrested, except to say that the arrest took place at 1:47 am.

Cyber harassment

A crew of cyber creeps swiped a 14-year-old Coney Island girl’s cellphone on March 29 — using it to alter her Facebook profile.

The teen told police that the thieves added “She likes girls” to her profile after grabbing the phone on Emmons Avenue sometime between 8 am and 1 pm.

Bounced away

A thief palmed a basketball player’s gym bag on March 27 as his victim played hoops on Avenue Z.

The victim told police that he had just finished his game near Nostrand Avenue at 4:30 pm when he realized that his bag, which contained his bank cards, house keys and two shirts, was missing.

Mercedes menace

A crook rifled through a Mercedes Benz parked on Avenue Y on March 31, finding an envelope containing $2,500.

The luxury car was sitting parked between E. 13th and E. 14th streets when the thief forced open the doors sometime after 12:30 am.

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