Today’s news:

Massive heist from check cashing store

84th Precinct

Brooklyn Heights–DUMBO–Boerum Hill–Downtown

Check yourself

Gun-wielding thugs swiped thousands of bucks from a check cashing shop on Fourth Avenue on April 13.

The victim told cops that she opened the Fourth Avenue Check Cashing Service near St. Marks Place at 8:10 am when two men wearing black masks pushed her and flashed handguns.

The thugs demanded that she open a safe, which held $43,400. They grabbed the money and jumped into a red Dodge Caravan.

Cane whack

A lady whacked a man with a cane on Livingston Street on April 12.

The victim told cops that he was inside a building near Bond Street at around 2:50 pm when the girl hit him with a cane in the shoulder, then sprayed him in the eyes with mace. Cops arrested the 26-year-old woman the same day.

Stone casters

A group of thugs attacked a man with rocks on Furman Street on April 15.

The 40-year-old man told cops that he was near Joralemon Street at 5:50 pm when a group of men started throwing rocks at his head. After he fell over, they punched and kicked him, leaving him with a bump on his head and a gash on his leg.

Chain snip

A slimeball stole an awesome bike from a woman on Boerum Place on April 17.

The 32-year-old victim told cops she chained her $1,200 Specialized bicycle to a rack in front of My Sports Club near Pacific Street at around 11 am, then went for a workout. She came back two hours later to discover that someone had clipped her chain and swiped her sweet ride.

Crime time

A jerk snatched a woman’s watch on Dean Street on April 11.

The 25-year-old victim told cops that she was near Third Street at 9:05 pm when a man sneaked up behind her and said, “Don’t say a word.”

He then snatched her Timex watch and a $100 Marc Jacobs purse before running away.

Jackpot jerks

Two con artists scammed a senior citizen on Fulton Street on April 14 with one of the oldest tricks in the book.

The 78-year-old woman told cops that a pair of jerks explained that they had won the lottery — but needed her help in order to claim the prize money. They then convinced her to withdraw $9,000 from her bank before snatching the cash and jumping into a blue four-door sedan.

A bank camera caught a 5-foot-7, 180-pound man along with a woman, who was less visible.

Shady shades

A jerk snatched some fancy sunglasses from a car on Sydney Place on April 16.

The victim told cops that she had parked her sedan near State Street at midnight, and came back at 8 am to discover that the $475 Oakley sunglasses and $6,300 had been taken.

Laptop grab

A thug stole a laptop from an electrics shop on Livingston Street on April 8.

The workers told cops they had locked up Just Electric Distribution near Boerum Place at 4 pm. They came back after the weekend to find that someone had smashed in the front door and snatched a laptop.

F’d train

A knife-wielding jerk jacked a man’s cellphone and cash on the subway on April 15.

The 21-year-old victim told cops that he was on the A-train at 5:30 pm when a thug flashed a knife and said, “Give me everything you got.”

The man handed over his cellphone and $50 before the thief and his posse fled the train.

Pay it back

A thug snatched a man’s cellphone on Schermerhorn Street on April 7.

The 18-year-old victim told cops that she was near Smith Street at 2:30 pm when a teenager said, “Someone took my phone — so I’m gonna take yours.” The thug then pushed her and snatched her white Blackberry cellphone.

Buzz kill

A jerk snatched a law student’s wallet at a boozy nightclub on Smith Street on April 16.

The 23-year-old victim told cops that he had put his belongings inside the bathroom at Boat Bar near Wyckoff Street at around 11 pm, then walked away for half an hour. That was enough time for the jerk to snatch his American Eagle wallet.

— Natalie O’Neill

76th Precinct

Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Phone groan

An agile creep stole a pair of cellphones from a Van Brunt Street apartment on April 12.

The 31-year-old victim, whose home is near Visitation Place, said that he went to bed at around 12:30 am, and awoke at 6:30 am to find that two iPhones were gone. Cops said the crook had clambered up a fire escape and removed a front screen window to gain entry.

Bike grab

Someone stole a bicycle from a Cheever Place home on April 11.

The 31-year-old victim said he left his home near Kane Street at 8 am and noticed his basement door was ajar, and his $250 Specialized bike had been taken.

— Gary Buiso

Watch out

A trio of teen thugs beat and robbed another teen on April 12 on Hoyt Street.

The 17-year-old victim said he was near Second Street at 8:05 pm when the threesome sidled up and asked him for the time. The victim kept walking but noticed he was being followed by the group, which suddenly pounced, punching him in the chest and rummaging though his pockets. The trio made off with an iPhone.

Pack attack

A quintet of teens robbed another teen waiting for a train at the Carroll Street station on April 11.

The 14-year-old victim said that he was on the platform near the President Street entrance on Smith Street at 3 pm when a group of four boys and a girl grabbed his hat.

The victim told the group, “Keep it,” but one member of the group retorted, “What else do you have?” and proceeded to punch him in the face, throw a bottle at him, and take his watch, sweater, MetroCard and cellphone.

Apple fiend

A tech fiend burglarized a Butler Street home on April 11.

The 34-year-old victim told cops that he left home, near Smith Street, at around 1:30 pm and returned at 3 pm to find a damaged front door and a missing laptop and iPod.

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