Today’s news:

Lucky loser: Man brutally beaten, but manages to escape a shooting

Magic bullets

A crew of thugs pummeled and then tried to shoot a Canarsie man on May 6 — but couldn’t hit the victim because of lousy aim.

Police found the Canarsie resident at his home, which is on E. 79th Street near Glenwood Road, bleeding, but his injuries could have been much worse.

Witnesses told investigators that the victim was sitting on a car parked on E. 79th Street near Glenwood Road at 6:45 pm when the three punks approached and began arguing with him.

After a few heated words, the trio pulled the victim off the car and began beating him, leaving him with a deep cut under one eye.

Then, as the victim lay on the ground, one of the suspects pulled a gun and opened fire — but missed.

Cops found the shell casings, but the victim told police that he didn’t remember the violent exchange.

Anyone with information regarding this incident is urged to come forward.

Calls can be made to the NYPD CrimeStoppers hotline at (800) 577-8477. All calls will be kept confidential.

Caught in the act

A 31-year-old is facing rape charges this week for allegedly having sex with a disabled E. 87th Street autistic teen on May 4. But the girl’s father is also facing prison — for shooting at the would-be deviant when he caught him having sex with his daughter.

Shots were fired inside the teen’s home, which is near Avenue M, at 5:30 pm when the 48-year-old father came home and found the 31-year-old having sex with his daughter.

Enraged, the father, an MTA employee, grabbed his gun, which he had a license for, and fired at the lewd lover as he hot-footed it out of the house.

The 31-year-old ran home and called police. The father surrendered to authorities the next day and cops charged him with attempted assault.

Investigators also charged the 31-year-old with rape, claiming that the MTA worker’s disabled daughter was unable to consent to sex.

Flowery fraud

A 33-year-old woman was arrested on May 8 after she tried to buy a bushel of Mother’s Day flowers with a counterfeit $100 bill.

A street vendor on Flatlands Avenue near Rockaway Parkway told police that the woman had given her a $100 bill as she purchased flowers at 8:30 am.

The vendor gave the woman $85 in change, but quickly realized that the bill was fake and flagged down a cop.

The officer found the would-be counterfeiter a few blocks away and charged her with petit larceny and criminal possession of a forged instrument.

Utica raid

A pair of thieves barreled into a Utica Avenue store on May 4, taking $930.

The crooks, who were sporting black masks and latex gloves, flashed firearms and ordered everyone to the ground once they stepped inside at 10:45 pm. The suspects fled after forcing a manager to empty out a store register and a safe.

Shot on a dare

A gunman shot a stranger in the leg on E. 83rd Street on May 2 — because the victim dared him to.

The 20-year-old resident told police that he was standing outside his house, which is between Avenues K and L, at 10 pm when the gunman walked down the street.

The two stared each other down — then challenged each other.

“What are you looking at?” the stranger asked.

“Not much” the victim chided.

“Maybe I should shoot you,” his opponent seethed.

“Maybe you should,” the victim challenged — apparently not knowing that the stranger was a bit trigger-happy.

The assailant pulled a gun and opened fire, striking the victim in the leg. He was taken to Brookdale Hospital, where he was treated and released.

Gun robber sought

Three thugs jumped a 19-year-old on Avenue J on April 26 — taking the young man’s gun.

The victim was nearing E. 57th Street at 5:25 pm when the thieves attacked, running off with his weapon.

Anti-American

A thief broke into the Floyd Bennett American Legion Post on Avenue N, taking $60 during the April 28 burglary.

Post members said the thief wiggled his way into the building, which is near E. 56th Street, through an open air conditioner sleeve in the wall.

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