Today’s news:

Thief is a fool for tools

68th Precinct

Bay Ridge–Dyker Heights

What a tool

Someone stole two jackhammers, a generator and other construction equipment from an 80th Street house between Jan. 11 and Jan. 13.

The handy victim told cops that he was gone from his place, which is between Harbor View Terrace and Shore Road, for two days. When he returned, the lock on his front gate was missing and his stuff was gone.

Macho man

Some workout fanatic stole a muscle stimulator, weights and other pricey items from a 2008 Audi on 81st Street overnight on Jan. 15.

The fit victim told cops that he returned to his ride, which was near Fourth Avenue, and discovered that his driver’s-side window had been broken. Closer inspection revealed that his exercise equipment, iPod and navigation system were missing.

86th heist

Thieves made out with a department store-worth of stuff from an 86th Street apartment between Jan. 6 and Jan. 10.

The victim told cops that she had been staying at a friend’s house for several days. When she returned to her home, which is between Seventh Avenue and Dahlgren Place, her two cellphones, jewelry, laptop and desktop were missing. There were no signs of forced entry.

Supply raid

A thief who may also be a student stole textbooks, a backpack, a laptop and a jacket from a Nissan on 79th Street overnight on Jan. 12.

The victim told cops that she parked her 2001 ride between Fourth and Fifth avenues at around 9:30 pm and returned at 6:30 the next morning to find the window broken and her stuff gone.

— Alex Rush

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