Today’s news:

Teens beat up man at Buttermilk Channel

Brooklyn Daily

76th Precinct

Carroll Gardens-Cobble Hill–Red Hook

Court crack

A group of teenage goons attacked a 38-year-old on Court Street on Dec. 2, leaving him with a smattering of bruises.

The victim was having a cigarette outside of Buttermilk Channel near Nelson Street at 9:50 pm when the teens — for no apparent reason — ran up and punched him in the face.

Witnesses told police that the victim chased the teens around the corner, where the thugs meted out more punishment — with only one explanation given.

“That’s how I roll,” the victim recalled one of the teens saying.

Pistols on Pioneer

A gun-toting thief held up a 42-year-old man just paces from his Pioneer Street home on Dec. 1.

The victim was approaching his address between Richards and Van Brunt streets at 1:30 am when the suspect approached and flashed a firearm.

“Keep walking,” the thief ordered before knocking his victim to the ground in one punch and running off with his iPhone and wallet.

Postal pinch

A thief snaked his hand into a letter carrier’s mail cart on Warren Street on Dec. 3 — but only took the postal worker’s personal stuff.

The 42-year-old USPS employee said that he had left his cart near Clinton Street at 2 pm to deliver some mail. That’s when someone quickly rifled the bag, taking a wallet, cellphone and Postal Service ID from the cart.

Taking any actual mail, of course, is a federal crime.

Car swipe

A thief took a 2007 Mitsubishi Outlander on Butler Street on Nov. 28 — only to get in a crack up a few blocks away.

The owner of the car said that the thief plucked the keys from his jacket pocket before snagging the Outlander from between Hoyt and Smith streets sometime after 8 am.

The vehicle was recovered that afternoon on Wyckoff Street near Bond Street later that afternoon — with some extensive front-end damage, police said.

Cellphone grab

Two teenage thugs jumped a 15-year-old on Smith Street on Nov. 29 — taking his cellphone.

The victim was near President Street at 4:20 pm when the goons threw him against a car, put him in a headlock, and ran off with his property.

— Thomas Tracy

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