Today’s news:

Cops close underground club — in someone’s home!

Underground party poopers

Cops raided a Glenwood Road home that sidelined as an illegal social club on Feb. 16 -— recovering two guns and some marijuana in the process.

Police said that they executed a search warrant on the home after getting several complaints from neighbors who live between E. 81st and E. 82nd streets. Cops later learned that the owner of the home was running a nightclub in the basement, using flyers to advertise some of the upcoming gigs.

Six people found living in the home were arrested during the raid, police said.

Rude awakening

Two thieves crept into an E. 99th Street home on Feb. 18, surprising a young woman they found sleeping inside.

Cops apprehended one of the thieves shortly after the victim forced the duo out of the home, which is between Avenues K and L, at 9 am.

Heaping on the threats

A 35-year-old man was taken into custody this week after he took his frustrations out on another man’s 2006 Lexus parked on E. 92nd Street.

Police said that the thug took a shovel to the luxury car, which was parked between Avenues L and M, during an argument with its owner at 8:30 am.

When the owner objected, the thug pulled a gun and aimed it at him, the victim told police.

Choking hazard

A 25-year-old woman was arrested on Feb. 21 after she choked her lover during a spat inside their E. 102nd Street home.

The two women were arguing inside their apartment, which is between Seaview Avenue and Shore Parkway, when the assailant threw her lover against the wall and choked her, causing the woman to lose her voice.

Bagged for boozin’

A 56-year-old was arrested on drunk driving charges on Feb. 20 after he was caught weaving across the Belt Parkway.

Cops pulled over the motorist in his 2010 Honda just as he was approaching the Flatbush Avenue exit a 1:40 am, placing the apparently drunk motorist in custody.

Cut up

A thief armed with a boxcutter held up a woman on Flatbush Avenue on Feb. 10, leaving the woman with a cut index finger.

The thief ran off with the woman’s cellphone following the violent 7:30 pm exchange near Utica Avenue.

Jumped on Ralph

A crew of thieves attacked a 33-year-old on Ralph Avenue on Feb. 8, beating him until he gave up his cellphone.

The thugs approached the victim in a black Volvo just moments before the 11 pm mugging near E. 73rd Street, officials said.

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