Today’s news:

Ida Eisenstein says the Chargers will win this weekend

The Chargers will win — Ida Eisenstein has spoken

Brooklyn Daily

There had been an accident. It was winter, 1984, and there was ice everywhere; on the streets, on the sidewalks, covering even the leaves on the trees. The most mundane objects, when touched by the deep chill, had turned hazardous; such was the dismally cold January that year. So when Ida’s best friend slipped on her new treadmill, a thin-layer of ice forming over the rubbertrack in the heatless house, while she was staying over during the NFL playoffs, it fundamentally shook Ida’s faith in two of things she had never thought to question: the National Football League, and 1980s-era exercise equipment. She may have been able to live without her part-time gig at NordicTrack, but football was not something she could consider living without. Not then, at least. That was before her two-year boycott of the golden game — a whole another ball of yarn to spin, as they say. Wistful times remind our pigskin princess with a few words from Jean Baudrillard: “There is no aphrodisiac like innocence.”

Ida’s picks: Ravens (-12), Patriots (-3.5), Lions (-4), Falcons (-7), Texans (-12), Cardinals (-6.5), Raiders (6), Bengals (-1.5), Packers (-7.5), Buccaneers (-3), Giants (2.5), Bears (3.5)

Breakouts:

Jets (3.5) over 49ers

“Jets play well at home.”

Chargers (-1.5) over Chiefs

“They’re gonna bounce back.”

Seahawks over Rams

“Of course I’m going with the Seahawks.”

Ida’s Kryptonite Lock of the Week:

Buccaneers (-3) over the Redskins

“Don’t ask me why, I don’t know”

Ida’s record:

Total: 19-28-1, 2-1 krypotite

Last week’s total: 6-9-1

Reach reporter Eli Rosenberg at erosenberg@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-2531. And follow him at twitter.com/emrosenberg.

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