He knows all, sees all —he is the Magnificent Mayor of Oz — who is that man behind the curtain? None other than our very own Mayor Bloomberg.
Not only has he protected us from over-indulging on salt, rid us of the evils of trans-fats and smokes, large sodas, and the no-good-for-us-fast foods, he is now an expert on dieting and espousing his wisdom to whomever will lesson, via his www.nypost.com/p/news/local/mayor_bloomberg_oE8liLAyoaPArC3Df9RNWI">weekly radio gig on WOR. According to a recent article in the Post, Mr. Nutritionist explained, “If you eat less than 2,000 calories you’ll lose weight.” Adding, “Don’t eat, and you’ll lose weight.”
Yes right, just what every anorexic out there needs to hear. “Don’t eat.”
Can this man just close that open wound under his nose and let it heal already?
Of course this is just his beneficence talking. After all, if we didn’t have him as mayor, we wouldn’t be able to survive on our own. No sir. We, the little people, wouldn’t be able to even tie our shoes without his advice, so inept are we.
He further force-fed us the rest of his wit and wisdom while discussing his large drink ban, stating, “Just have to carry two cups back, or four cups back rather than one. And that reminds you.” Sure — Just another trip back and forth. Tell that to a parent trying to hold on to a child, or many children, preparing the meal and then ferrying back and forth for all those small cups. What an enjoyable, peaceful meal that will be.
Speaking from years of experience with birthday parties and outings with little ones, you don’t want to be running back and forth for those extra cups, because taking the tykes out for a meal is stressful enough without creating additional havoc.
He added, “So it’s an educational thing. It doesn’t prevent you from doing it, and it doesn’t mean a store has to charge you more. I mean, it’s ridiculous to say it’s the cost of an extra cup. If the cost of an extra cup is really a detriment if they’re going to be in business, they’re not going to be in business.” Additional pearls before swine from the gazillionaire. He’s not affected by money, and after all he’s done to increase the mean average of every Joe Schmo that lives in New York City, he should know.
After all, aren’t your finances so much better since Mayor Mike took over? I know mine are. They improved just enough for me to pay extra real-estate taxes, extra gasoline taxes, higher transportation costs, higher electric costs, and higher water bills. Oh, yes, the list is endless of how much he has improved our lives — his bans have increased our longevity, so we can pay longer. Yippee!
How does he find the time? Running the city, deciding what we should eat and drink, where we can smoke, how many small bottles of pop we need to buy for our next pizza party, providing us with so many bike lanes, opportunities programs, and now dieting advice.
Not for Nuthin, but I’m happy to see that the mayor has taken up nutrition, now he can take a job at Jenny Craig.
Follow me on Twitter @JDelBuono.Joanna DelBuono writes about national issues every Wednesday on BrooklynDaily.com. E-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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