I just returned from a nice, long vacation. Actually it was two vacations. First, we were away for nine days, returned on Monday night, unpacked Tuesday, repacked again Wednesday and took off Thursday morning.
We have taken so many trips that I have my clothing trained. I toss the socks in the air and they know exactly where in the suitcase they have to land. Same with underwear, toothbrushes, and everything else. Makes life a lot easier.
Needless to say, the roommate and I have been spending a lot of time at airports waiting for our connections.
To pass the time I was buried in a copy of Bill O’Reilly’s latest best-seller, “Keep It Pithy” when the grossly overweight sus scrofa with a big mouth shouted, “How can you read that crap?”
I ignored her at first, but when she continued, I realized that I now have another one of “those.” This is the fourth time that “one of those” attempted to pick an argument with me because they did not care for the writer of the book I was reading. In the past few years, the disliked authors were Sarah Palin, Michael Savage, and Howard Stern. Today, I had the misfortune of sitting opposite “one of those” who obviously is not a fan of O’Reilly. This woman hates Bill, and wants everyone else to hate him, too.
“Have you read it?” I asked.
“I would not ready anything by him. I don’t like him. I don’t care for what he stands for and I would never watch his show,” she said.
But having met “one of those” in the past, I was ready.
“Well, he seems to be doing pretty well without you,” I said. “While most authors wait a lifetime for a great big hit, this is his 11th best seller. His cable news show has been No. 1 on the tube for 12 years. He speaks and people listen. He writes and people read. And you cannot name any one single celebrity that hates pedophiles as much as he does. He has single-handedly had judges who coddle sex predators removed from the bench. Who do you know who does so much for our wounded servicemen? He has fund-raisers and is now doing his part to buy track chairs for … wait a second. You don’t even know what a track chair is? Don’t bother to watch ‘The Factor’ if you hate him so much, but do watch the last two minutes of his show to learn what a track chair is and how he is helping the military people who fought for the right for you to open your mouth and criticize.
“Now please let me go back to reading my book.”
And with that, I received a nice round of applause from those around me.
The yenta then got up and took a seat near the next gate. I am StanGershbein@Bellsouth.net praying that if she is on my flight, please, dear God, give her a seat near me. I will smile for the next three hours.Read Stan Gershbein's column every Monday on BrooklynDaily.com.
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